I could never realize its value, then the day came and a new chapter begun, life decided to let me taste a bit of it. Hiraeth is a colossal panic emotion that comes through, living in a family, like all time together and leaving them for the sake of earnings, aspirations or that could be compulsion too. It’s a journey from the stage of confusion, that in between excitement and nervousness, when both hit together.
Excitement of coming across to a new life, new people and getting of freedom of action, that almost every such person possesses; makes us go far and live there. Nervousness could be explained through sacrifice of two obvious elements. First, the comfort of existing life and, the second, the emotional attachment, secured over the years.
Never imagined a day without looking at those faces, fascinated of their smiles, yelling at mom for my every small need, dictating over siblings, and sneaking face from dad after every mischief, I really miss them all. Few days of joy at home in one complete year that comes with the speed of light and passes with the blink of eyes, really makes me cherish it badly. It’d been a long time, the last when I was at home, helpless, I know, cry alone, I though; but now being strong, I’m featuring habits these days.
The shops near my house, garden on the back and few other ordinary places, they all pull me back, the places from where hiraeth comes through. Rarely I visit, don’t want to, repeat that meeting and splitting game, cause I’m unable to walk through such diverse emotions. If I’ll go, I know my thoughts will have a freshness but my wounds will go unpack too.
I was bound to accept this reality & I guess, you all too. Nothing could be more torturous than hiding your downtimes those filled with emptiness and showing to your family that I’m absolutely fine. I can see the pain, your red eyes, one hour before I leave, narrates the whole story, it yells at me to stop, your love; dear mom!
Brave enough are those soldiers, who spend max time of their life staying at borders miles away their homes, no comments, simply salute! Believe me, the value of home, no one can better describe it than a guy living far from it.
Birds who, desired to fly freely, now after touching the sky, looking back to their nests; exactly what hiraeth makes us feel like.