Five years of training plus three years of career, now I’m stuck with an unanswered question, if the dream was truly mine? Though, I’m living it but did I choose it? Maybe not! I actually never much looked into it. I don’t know the reason what suppressed my own dreams? Were they quite out of the box for a few orthodox minds of my family? Maybe, my dreams were not up to their bogus society standards. The family has been truly the best diversion ever.
An imposed dream is now hovering over my life. It’s trying to be a part of me. I once decided to accept it and now it’s deciding the rest of everything related to me. I’m feeling more toxic inside. I get tired easily, can’t be with it for long. This is not satisfactory. Fatigue is fertilizing the frustration. At times when I can’t get over my thoughts insulating negativity and dissatisfaction, I feel disgusting about choosing this imposed dream as my career.
I wish I can travel the time, go back and start it afresh. I should’ve lived life on my own conditions. Where I’m strict to a perfect schedule, giving due importance to my own dreams, everything! The rebellion inside me sometimes screams aloud.
I’ve heard, dreams bring excitement. They put fire into the cold and idle brain. But if dreams are not the ones emerging through the choices made inside, the whole journey becomes vague. Efforts can’t be wholehearted on dreams where heart doesn’t connect.
Future Looking Dark
I can’t touch the peak walking lifelong on the road crafted by such imposed dreams. Here is a need to stop! Stop before I feel lost in the crowd. It’s making me useless, and my life, meaningless! It’s a wrong track. I can only survive lying somewhere in between. Neither at the top nor at the bottom, and that freaks me out!
I know I would be made fun of. But I’ve to switch. Nobody would accept it, I know! Still, I’ve to handle it. People will judge me anyhow. But, they don’t even care, so let them be. I just need to think more of me.
It’s the peak time, wake your dead dreams. Remind yourselves your worth, and what you once had desired to be. Recall, how beautiful that was? And, how beautiful it can be now? Don’t let your hopes down. Give it a start, it’s never too late. Please don’t run just to get settled. Unsettled life can be satisfying too, if you’re chasing your dreams.