The In-wasted Life, Depression, Depressed Life

The Life – Invested Or In-wasted?

The In-wasted Life, Depression, Depressed Life

I don’t feel my life invested rather it’s an in-wasted life.

That’s my mind that wants to go blank once I head down on her shoulders. That’s my soul that feels peace in her arms. She is the one I can hug all day long with the crave of not getting apart…

Can’t decide if I’m getting pulled back to the past or she is trying to push herself to future. Has she killed her emotions or she never felt it so deep? Has she become stronger or she was never so weak? It was me who raised the imaginations to cloud nine. For me, thinking about her is still not wrong. I never regretted about her and I still don’t. She was like a bliss to my life, and she still is.

I don’t know if she is happy or not but trust me, I’m not! I’m still ready to go lost into her elegant smile, comfy touch of her sleek body, fragrance of her warm breaths, and, the grip of her palm. I still crave for those endless conversations.

That made me pick some hopes from the past. I thought situation would now be different, but I forgot, people are still the same. Now, her rude behaviour is taking away the sugariness from my old memories with her. She doesn’t desire a change now. A change from what had happened in the past.

Words definitely fall short to describe… but still, a few lines for her…

I couldn’t save me,

from your smile that had paved me.

Suddenly you left me,

for no reason, but you had kept me.

Now, I’m so lonely,

But, not saying that you had trapped me.

Dear, I don’t wanna make you far…

Could you please now call back me?

Wasted Life after you…

No pause means no time to rethink what’s going on. The current time has lost its value in my life. And, it’s making me worthless. I’m not able to live it anymore. Disappointingly I’m dragging her old version with me. For years, I was in this myth. Moving on, for me, it’s just not happening. Time just passing persistently. Life is going so dull now.

I don’t feel any strength inside. Stuck in the past, I’m begging my old memories to free me alone. And, that’s why I don’t feel my life invested rather it’s an in-wasted life.

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